still life | the dorm

12 January 2018

The room is situated in the back corner of the building, at the very end of a long, narrow, musty hallway. It faces the outskirts of the small, quiet grounds of the campus, looking out to the courtyard filled with trees and winding sidewalks.
The walls are colored in the dullest, yellowest shade of white, and are decorated with marks and scratches from previous inhabitants. I tried to hang up pictures above my bed, making the space personal and mine. But one by one they rejected the sticky adhesive strips, fluttering to the hard floor, abandoned beneath the bunk beds. So the walls remain bare, with the exception of my dry-erase calendar, and the hundred lantern lights strung along the edge of the ceiling.
The room is always well lit. Either from the natural lighting that floods in from the window when the sun is out, or from the warm, romantic glow of the lanterns at night. Sometimes at the height of the day, the light will dance on the sequin pillow on my roommate's bed and create a disco ball effect of glittering silver reflections all around the small room.
All of the furniture, the desks and the bunk beds, are pushed as closely to the edge of the walls as possible, creating an illusion of openness and space. I do my best to keep my designated space organized and clean, but if you would open up the door to my closet, you would see a mess that I'm ashamed of. My laundry, shoes, storage boxes are shoved in a neglected heap without any hope of being contained.
My desk, which was once so neat and orderly at the beginning of the school year, is also in a perpetual state of unorganized chaos. On my shelves is a structure made up of textbooks, notebooks, folders, and stray papers that's continuously being torn down and rebuilt as I do homework late into the night.
This is my refuge. My place I attempt to call my home for the few months I'm at school. This is the room where I've called my mom when I've been stressed countless times. This is where I sat on the fluffy, pink rug with my roommate and kettle corn to watch my first horror movie. This is where I would lay awake all night long on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling feeling like everything was falling apart. This is where I finished the finally draft of that research paper I was so proud of. It may not be much. It might just be a small, musty room with dull yellow-white walls, but it's mine.
This is the dorm room.
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still life - no pictures, no references. just painting a picture with words.
I returned to school this week to start spring semester. I'm soaking in this space where I will hide from the brutal winter tundra for the next three months with anxious anticipation to learn more about what I love. 

10 comments

  1. I think there's comfort in at least some bit of chaos in one's dorm room, even if it's the laundry hamper-- there's something beautiful about imperfectness and untidiness. I'm afraid I'm never going to leave my dorm once I leave for college and feel alienated, but your post gave me the warm fuzzies that indeed, even a dorm room will be comforting and reassuring. ^.^

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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    1. Don't feel bad about isolating yourself every once in a while! There's always something comforting and reassuring about having your own space where you can be yourself and destress from the outside world. And I agree, a little bit of chaos is not a bad thing!

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  2. I love this painting of words. I can imagine what your dorm looks like but more importantly I feel what it's like to be in it! I might try this out soon!
    Simply Me

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    1. Aw thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! And if you ever make your own post like this I'd love to read it!!

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  3. wow i love this little corner of the internet

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    1. Thank you so much, Olivia! Your comment made my day!

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  4. oh my goodness you weave words in such a beautiful way, hannah! I pictured your dorm room in my mind, and felt the emotion throughout the post. ahhh I love this so much <3 <3

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  5. I have never lived in a place without my family before so this (like many other dorm retellings?) was pretty interesting. I hope you have a lovely roommate and you guys get along pretty well!

    And I hope you really enjoy your course <3

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    1. Thanks Grace! I'm glad you found it interesting! My roommate and I get along great and I have high hopes for this semester. Thank you for your encouragement!

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